Negative money beliefs formed in childhood often resurface in adulthood. They may appear as anxiety when income grows, a tendency to “leak” resources, or fear of asking for a raise. The result is constant financial loss — sometimes literal, other times through an inability to save or earn more.
Psychoanalysis can help identify and understand these deep-rooted patterns, resolving inner conflicts that drive financial self-sabotage. For lasting results, professional support may be needed, but there are also steps you can take on your own. Let’s look at common negative money scenarios and how to overcome them.
Common Negative Money Beliefs
Money Is Bad
If a child often heard phrases like “Big money is dirty,” “You can’t earn honestly,” or “All rich people are thieves,” they may grow up believing that money is dangerous and corrupting.
Psychoanalyst Melanie Klein wrote that such beliefs include the unconscious thought: “If I gain something, someone else must lose.” To avoid guilt and anxiety, the psyche rejects profit or benefit. Even when a person wants to improve their finances, attempts trigger shame and anxiety, which sabotage career growth and earnings. Such individuals are afraid of trying to pursue some unusual moneymaking activities that can bring them a lot, like betting on their favorite sports via 20 Bet or uploading a potentially entertaining YouTube video.
I Don’t Deserve It
Donald Winnicott argued that children forced to meet adults’ expectations without unconditional support may grow up feeling worthless on their own.
As adults, such people carry thoughts like: “I don’t deserve this,” “This isn’t for me,” or “I must earn the right to have it.” These beliefs prevent them from asking for promotions, negotiating salaries, or competing for high-status roles.
Being Wealthy Is Dangerous
This belief can form if success in childhood was punished or dismissed: “Don’t get arrogant,” “That’s not good enough.” Psychoanalyst Christopher Bollas observed that people in this position may feel their achievements are undeserved or alien, equating success with loneliness, rejection, or punishment.
In adulthood, this shows up as unconscious sabotage — missed deadlines, accidental losses, breakdowns, and feelings such as “Success isn’t for me,” or “It was just luck.”
How to Recognise Negative Money Scenarios
Unconscious beliefs reveal themselves through repeated feelings, bodily reactions, and automatic decisions. Watch for these patterns:
- You feel embarrassed to talk about payment or delay sending invoices.
- You spend everything, even when you planned to save.
- A rise in income triggers anxiety, as if “something bad will happen.”
- You splurge impulsively, then feel guilty.
- You feel guilty if you earn more than your parents.
- You constantly compare yourself with others and conclude you’re less worthy of success or promotion.
How to Change Negative Money Beliefs
Negative money scenarios often lead to real financial issues — debt, low income, or impulsive spending. For many, scarcity in childhood symbolised safety, love, or belonging. Anything that disrupts that old logic feels threatening.
It’s important to remember: every belief passed down from parents was an unconscious attempt to protect their child from what they considered harmful. Their fears may have been shaped by lived experiences — layoffs, financial losses.
Working through these scenarios doesn’t mean blaming parents. It means taking responsibility: recognising which beliefs no longer serve you and replacing them with healthier ones.
Four Steps to Reframe Your Money Story
Recall and Write Down Childhood “Money Phrases”
Examples include:
- “Asking is shameful.”
- “The more you want, the less you’ll get.”
- “All rich people are greedy or cruel.”
Rewrite Them as if Explaining to a Child
- Instead of “Asking is shameful,” say: “You have the right to express your needs.”
- Instead of “Money ruins people,” say: “Money helps you take care of yourself and others.”
- Instead of “The more you want, the less you’ll get,” say: “You are allowed to want more, and you can achieve it.”
Track Moments of Self-Sabotage
- When do you turn down money you’ve already earned?
- When do you lower your prices unnecessarily?
- When do you spend, then punish yourself with guilt?
Create a New Financial Narrative
To break old patterns, you must build new mental and emotional habits. That means replacing childhood beliefs with values that make ambition and money feel safe.
You can model new behaviours by observing successful colleagues, friends, or mentors. You may also seek help from a therapist.
At first, positive results may bring anxiety or fear. The psyche may resist and try to drag you back into old patterns. The key is to endure uncomfortable emotions until the new reality feels natural.
Once internal changes stabilise, reinforce them with practical skills:
- Learn to manage a budget.
- Build an emergency fund.
- Explore a new profession.
- Develop new income streams.
When that happens, “I never have money” stops being a destiny and becomes a story you’ve already begun to rewrite.
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